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the importance of knowing your values

Updated: Dec 21, 2022

In a rare moment of silence, I find myself sitting alone in the garden, lapping up rays of warmth and golden light from the Autumnal sunshine and breathing in the smell of freshly mown grass on the gentle, refreshing breeze. As I listen to the serenading chirrups of birdsong I have a sense of all being well with the world.

Today, I am choosing to prioritise self-care in order to top up my wellbeing tank. And for me, that means being immersed in nature, noticing what is around me, and having time to reflect. To reflect on all that I am grateful for, allowing time for emotions to be noticed... what is going on for me at the moment and how to I feel about it?

I've realised what huge steps forward I've taken over the last couple of years. There was a time when I would have kept myself incessantly busy in order not to feel anything. I was people-pleasing, resentful and becoming burnt out

So what changed?

A friend asked me what my core values were and, pausing for a while, I recognised that I did not really understand what that meant.

Core values are, essentially, those qualities that are so dear to you, so inherently part of you that you could not bear to be without and would not like to compromise on.

For example, you might be an adventurer, someone who needs to be always in community and cherishes friendships above everything. Imagine, then, you find yourself in a stagnant work-from- home job, so tired at the end of the day, you can't find the energy to go out to connect with people. Then you wonder why you are so unhappy with life. In my voyage of discovery, I identified about 25 values which were really important to me and included things like honesty, authenticity, reliability, fun, humour, travel, exploring, trust, caring, learning, nature, friendship, family, creativity etc. I felt I needed to hone down the list to my Top 5 in order to make manageable changes. So, I came up with authenticity, nature, caring, creativity, and humour.

I can't live without these things and if I do, I feel depleted. I now prioritise these values in my family life, my friendships, my work, church and alone time. Of course, no life is perfect but when I notice I am feeling "empty" or frustrated, I am quicker to stop. To take a moment to pause and notice. Where am I compromising my core values? Is there an area where they are not showing up? An unhealthy friendship? Overload at work? No time alone? If you would like to explore what your core values are and how you might make changes to incorporate them into your life contact me on Thank you for reading.

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