Does the thought of having to change plans and be flexible at the last minute fill you with dread or delight?
Imagine the scene: You have had an exhausting few weeks and decide that tonight you will switch off your phone, put your feet up and have a TV binge. You have just got yourself comfortable when the doorbell goes. You assume it is a delivery and open the door only to find your long lost 2nd cousin- twice-removed standing there with a suitcase looking anxious, clearly hoping to come in and stop by for the night.
How do you feel about that? Now it may be that for an extrovert this is a pleasant distraction - not so much for an introvert - but you get the idea. An unexpected interruption to your plans.
Or perhaps a long-awaited and much needed cuppa with a friend is cancelled at short notice...do you take that in your stride or struggle with disappointment?
There is a growing belief that embracing discomfort, rather than avoiding it, can help us become more resilient and able to move towards personal goals, or cope with unwelcome change (Warren, 2022). It would seem that we will reap great rewards from actively seeking out opportunities to feel awkward or uncomfortable.
Flexibility training can be practiced in a really low-key way (and it might seem a bit crazy, but go with it!) such as:
· Wearing your watch on the “wrong” wrist
· If you usually wear matching socks, wear odd socks!
· Sit in a different place to watch the TV
· Clean your teeth at a different time to your usual time
· Leave your bed unmade if you usually leave it tidy or vice versa!
· Leave the washing up a mess by the sink when you know someone is visiting!
Notice your reaction to doing things differently with curiosity, and notice your thoughts - see how long you can tolerate the change. Negative thoughts and feelings are completely natural to most people, but we can train the brain to think in a new way.
Amazingly, not only does it help us with personal growth and goal setting, but it can enable us to cope better with sudden changes like illness, car break down, difficult family situations and so on. When life throws an unwelcome curve ball at us we will be gradually more resourced to deal with it.
How could you challenge yourself to be more flexible this week? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Please do drop me a message below.
Further reading
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